Thursday, October 11, 2012

Welcome to Awectober with FeFe!

 
Oh yes.  YES!  You are here!  Holy crap, thank you.  Let us happy dance down an office hallway and break Chocolate together. 
 
If you have never visited this place before then welcome to TheFFword.com, otherwise known as Fearlessly Female's blog of irreverent Godly reverence, tales of masochism, Sexpot Sundaes, cursing without using the F word, The Uglies, Babes Without Bankroll, worshipping at the alter of the Almighty Chocolate, crotch holes, how writers with A.D.D. write (in Peanut M&M intervals), the art of stalking, SHOES, building a wickedly beautiful life, surviving breath-taking trauma, kicking fear in the gonads and how to be a lady.  Among other non-consensual acts.
 
If you know this blog like the back of your hand and are sick and tired of re-reading the same crap every week waiting for The Uglies to hurry up and get uglier then by God, bless your face.  You have returned.  I love you. 
 
In FeFe land, 2012 has been the long Code Blue with Awectober rescuing it's ass with the defibrillator....CLEAR!  Life caught up, clubbed me over the head with a big stick named 'Purpose, Dammit', pulled me out the cave by my thinning hair and left me for vulture scrap meat.  Run for your life girl, run!  I ran, my Lovelies.  I ran straight here.  It is my honor and deep pleasure to share with you the big story of a little life.
 
And while you're here, I'd love for you to stay.  Forever.  Or at least until someone turns out the lights and forces us out.  There is a box on the upper right corner of this page to subscribe for blog updates and an email alert when TheFFword.com has cookies in the oven.  Get it while it's hot!
 
Speaking of cookies...on with it.
 
Why you're here today:
 
Lovelies Like a Giveaway.  Hell yes, they do.  So do I.  Last year we had a blast giving away magic shoes, Chocolatemusic and the big mama money.  With wild abandon careful consideration I have once again decided to offer up the one gift that fits all sizes and goes with everything - Cold Hard Cash.  FeFe's Cookie Jar, to be exact. 

 
FeFe's make-shift-law-office-kitchen-raid Cookie Jar. 
 
Ooo, are there cookies included?
 
Hell no, I'm eating those.  There is no telling what FeFe will actually provide as the receptacle of your Lovelies Like a Giveaway cash but I can tell you, it probably won't matter.  Cuz dude, it's cash. 
This prize is named FeFe's Cookie Jar because my great grandmother, grandmother and probably every other kind of mid century mama kept her funds hidden where man would most likely not venture - the kitchen.  Sugar bowls, coffee cans and the like, women have been stashing Benjamin in the craziest places.  This woman's got to put the mula in the place she spends her most time - Where cookies go to die.  In honor of women doing all they can to hold onto their dough, I salute you.
 
 
How much cash we talkin'?
 
That's completely up to you.  Here's how it works:  Thursday the 11th and Friday the 12th I will be posting statuses on Fearlessly Female's Facebook page titled The Hot Truth.  Under each Hot Truth you are given the chance to comment.  Each relevant comment will put a dollar in the cookie jar.  Bam!  That was easy.  Or was it?  
 
If you've been following the blog you know what I mean when I refer to The Uglies.  Well, right as I was exercising my courage to share my scariest story I panicked and ceased all operations.  Fear stepped in and I walked away from it all.  Much followed that I will surely share with you this month.  As I began to plan for my return to the blog the idea of a lesson in fearlessness set my spine straight.  "I have to do it."  But let's begin with fun.  The Hot Truths are small bites of my life; who I am, inside and out.  They aren't ugly but they are either embarrassing, intimate, or outright ridiculous details that few people in my world know.   I would love for you to follow suit with a piece of your own story.  Whatever moves you to write, whether simply about what I shared or going out on a personal limb.  This is what I mean by relevant.  Make it you, make it real.
 
 
Why "The Hot Truth"?
 
Cause it makes me sweat a little.
 
 
The rules of play: 
  • You must "Like" the www.facebook.com/fearlesslyfemale page to win.  (You will feel Lovely for it!)
  • You may only leave one comment per individual Hot Truth.  There will be at least ten so you have plenty of chances to enter.  Each unique comment counts as one entry and one dollar into the pot.
  • You may live anywhere in the world and win.  God bless Air Mail.
  • The winner will be chosen randomly from a drawing.  No favoritism.  That's cheating, yo.
  • If you win, you must provide me with a valid address so that I may send it to you.  I promise I will not come to your door or raid your house for potato chips.
  • The contest will close at 6pm on Friday the 12th and the winner will be announced around 8pm PT on the FF Facebook page with alot of whoopin' and hollerin'.  The winner has 48 hours to claim their prize.  If the winner does not come forward they forfeit their prize and another winner will be chosen.
  • The Saliva Clause will be enacted, meaning if we share DNA (family) or have swapped spit (past or present luvahs) you do not qualify to win.  I know...it sucks!  Call me, I'll take you out to lunch instead.  Please don't let it stop you from commenting.  Your comments are gold.
  • The amount of cash that will be stuffed into FeFe's Cookie Jar will be tallied and announced on Friday the 12th at 8PM.  Please Note:  FeFe is still a working girl and must put a cap on the amount.  I will not tell you what that cap is but it's enough to make you want to do a jig in your undies.  Just know, I'm going to make it as fun for you as I possibly can. 
  • FeFe's Cookie Jar will be ready to ship to the winner in early to mid November.  I gotta earn that cash, baby!
  • If you would like to leave Hot Truth comments but do not wish to participate in Lovelies Like a Giveaway, bless your soul.  All you need to do is write *No entry* at the end of your comments and I will not include you in the drawing. 

Well you gorgeous human beings, I  do believe that covers it.  If you can think of anything I may have left out or you find this 2:48 AM rambling numbingly confusing (I have no idea what I just wrote tonight) please do not hesitate to let me know.

And by the by - If you feel so inclined, why not leave a comment below just for the helluvit?  Just because you can.  Or because you're wearing blue today and blue is your favorite color.  Or because the San Francisco Giants are pulling their shit together and winning again.  Or because you're mother guilted you into always doing what you're told.  Leave a comment.  (See how that works?)   Or because you love FeFe and FeFe loves you.  I do.  Ridiculously. 

Onward, my Lovely.  Return to Facebook, look for The Hot Truth #1  and pounce on your freedom to share who you are, dagnabbit.  I can't wait to finally meet you.  May the festivities begin! 
 
...
 
8:45 AM UPDATE:  I won't be playing hookie from work after all but this has no effect on today's madness saturation level.  It just means I will be breaking a lot of law office rules.  Seems apropos.  Bossman out.  No worries.  Secondly, I'm going to cuss a lot more than usual today.  I already yelled Holy Hell to the sun.  I'm excited.  I cuss when I'm excited.  Shit.  That felt good.  See you on the otherside!

...

7 comments:

  1. So excited. Oh my goodness. Okay seriously. You've been tempting us for long enough. Time to come out with the book version, girlie. Inquiring minds wanna know :-) Can't wait for the Hot Truths. Yay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You Freak, I love you. Come back this weekend for a little announcemento :)

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  2. Welcome back FeFe. Leaving this comment solely because I love you! ~Christine

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  3. Mark, Writer Freaks and Miss Christine - Thank you. Always, you are here shining like the sun. Thank you!

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  4. I too, have been breaking alot of office laws today in order stay up with reading hot truths! Just now, I am finally able to post (safely). Viva la Chocolate!! ~R2

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    Replies
    1. R2, breaking laws is on the menu for the day, even in the office. Thank you for returning safely!

      V la C!! xx

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Your comments are the golden wrapper to my Chocolate bar. Without them the blog would melt away. I love to hear what you have to say. Thank you, my Lovelies!

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